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Jenny Shimizu's Lesbian Love of Angelina Jolie

I'm begining to think that
the problem with Page Six lately
is that all the good new gossip
is now in the main part of the Post
rather than on Page Six.

What we Page Six afficionados
are left with is the D-List gossip.

The birth of TomKat's new baby girl, Suri
is on the cover of the Post today
which is a shame.
The regular writers over there aren't covering this story
nearly as well as Richard Johnson would have
so instead we have to survive the day by focussing on:

* Angelina Jolie's ex-lover, Jenny Shimizu,
the 1990s lesbian model who to this day
brags about the passionate affair she had with Angelina.
Today, Page Six talks about the heroin overdose
of one of Jenny's friends who bought heroin
for Jenny and sent it to the set of the film Firefox
in which both Jenny and Angelina starred in;

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Boring me to Tears

Stephen Baldwin: Another Long Island Bully
Or should I say Wrong Island Bully?

I have lost my will to publish this journal.
The whole Jared thing has deflated my bubble.

But here goes:

Today we learned that:

Stephen Baldwin has a cash crunch.
Who cares?
Those Baldwin boys are nothing but nasty.
I once talked to one on the Howard Stern radio show
and he was a bully.
A Baldwin bully;

Sarah Furguson may be dating a Cipriani.

Bijou Philips who once tried to cut someone's finger off
using a cigar cutter, is disappointed that people in LA
think the DaVinci Code is high literature;

Mary J. Blige (whom I love) thinks God wants her to wear Diamonds

But but but (and this gives me real hope that Page 6 will
survive the scuzzy scandal of JP Stern,
today we learn that

Someone (as in some Scientologists) tried
to skew the Parade magazine poll
about whether Tom Cruise or the media
is responsible for all the bad press TomKat is getting.
Turns our that thousands of votes came from one computer alone.
And thousand of others votes came from a handful of other computers.

I am hopefully that soon we will forget the name
of that Bennington Bullshit arrtist
and return to enjoying reading Page Six.

With hope I will tune in tomorrow....
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A Day When Gawker is More Interesting Than Page Six

I hate to admit it,
but I will:
the whole Jared Paul Scandal thing
has completely eclipsed Page Six itself.
Yes I read it at the crack of dawn this morning
and while I wish I could say it was a better read
than, the truth is it's not.

I hope this changes soon,
but until it does I have to face the facts that
Bret Ratner's problems with his childhood friends
cannot compete with the circus Jared has created
over at Gawker where this weekend
he did a weekend stint writing about himself
and Ron Burkle.

Jared Propaganda Cartoon by Tony Millionaire

At one point it was a fascinating slow speed car chase,
befitting of a site called Gawker.
Jared incessantly posted one ridiculous thing after another
while nasty posters became more and more enraged
at the ex-Page Six freelancer
who will never never get his job back.

The problem started actually yesterday
but heated up when Jared started deleting
and in some cases changing the commenters posts.
I'd be shocked if that site weren't the talk of the town tomorrow
when Monday - Friday editors Jessica and Jesse return.

In a nutshell the posters kept ribbing Jared
about what a fool he is and hinting about his
gay past at Bennington and his wife's lesbian history.

Jared's lawyer must be livid at him
for exposing himself as such a kook.

Do you remember a few weeks back
when Jared said he couldn't defend his judgement?
And then he backtracked and said he was set up?

Well I cannot imagine how he can defend his judgement today
and I cannot see how he can say he was set up.

At one point the guy who publishes
got on-line and corrected Jared,
telling the readers that all comments are anonymous.
Oh it is just too much.

It's so surreal that I cannot even explain
what happened in any coherent way.

Until tomorrow...
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A Suicidal Eminem

A Goofy Photo of Marshal Mathers

Apparently the murder of his best friend
and the demise of his second marriage to Kim
has taken their toll on Eminem.
His friends now have him on suicide watch.

Elsewhere on Page Six today,
we learn that:

* Real Estate Developer SHELDON SOLOW
took a big snip out of FREDERICK FEKKAI's hair
when both were having their hair cut.
Fekkai didn't know it happened and now has a big
gash on the back of his hair-do.
If you believe this is true, I'd like to see you a bridge;

* MEG RYAN has told Allure Magazine that
Dennis Quaid cheated on her.
Can you imagine being their child?
Both parents claim the other cheated.
Even if it were true, it must suck to be
Jack Quaid.

The rest of what I learned today is too boring to recount.

Until tomorrow...
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Mike Tyson Leaving Rehab

Iron Mike Tyson Smiling with an Elaborate Tatoo

I like Mike but apparently he recently bolted
from cocaine rehab after only four days.
I wish someone could save that guy.

I also wish there anything remotely interesting on Page Six today.
All I found that I could possibly mention is that

* Jerry Seinfeld and his daughter Sasha are dangerous on bikes.
They almost hit someone I never heard of yesterday.

* Disgraced NYSE head honcho Dick Grasso expensed everything
through petty cash including pretzels and lint brushes;

* LL Cool J is publishing a fitness book. Yawn;

* People magazine will publish photos of The Donald's new son, Barron; and

* "SUFFERING and humans go hand in hand.
Look at comedy: It's dominated by black people and Jewish people.
That is American comedy. And if blacks and Jews didn't do comedy,
we'd be relying on the Irish. 'Cause they were the next funniest thing"
- Dave Chappelle, Esquire . . .

Until Tomorrow...
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Business as Usual

I pray to the Gossip Gods
that today will be the last day
I ever mention that tawdry Jared Paul Stern scandal
but I doubt it is possible.
But in a nutshell this is what hit the fan
of Page Six:

* If you are a hooker and have to meet up with Aaron Sorkin
chances are you'll only be asked to smoke weed and
have your lingeried thigh stroked by the creator of West Wing;

* Eighteeen year old Liam McMullan (sone of photographer to the stars
Patrick McMullan) wants to be an actor;

* Josh Holloway, a star from Lost, has thought about dumping his wife
now that his TV show is a hit;

* The New York Times is bidding a fine farewell to
its pathetic gossip column Bold Face Names starting tomorrow
but it is not in response to the whole Jared Paul Stern problem
that is plagueing Richard Johnson.
Year right.

Page Six explains "Times Executive Editor
Bill Keller made the announcement yesterday
in an e-mail to staffers in which he noted,
"By the way, conspiracy theorists will undoubtedly
connect this with the bonfire at Page Six.
For the record, [Metro Editor] Joe Sexton suggested,
and we agreed, that Boldface had run its course
several weeks [years?] ago."

Until Tomorrow.
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The Return of Richard Johnson

Sessa and Richard Johnson in Happier Days

All praise be to the Gods.
Richard Johnson has returned.
I am thrilled!

While I wish Richard were reporting about the
Page Six Scandal, today I have to be satisfied with knowing that

Blonde Momshell Dina Lohan

* LINDSAY LOHAN's Mom uses the bathroom with another person
in the same stall and bitches out anyone who tries to rush her.
What on earth is a 40-something woman doing in that bathroom
with another person?

* John "Aidan of Sex and the City" Corbett doesn't want to be
photographed with his "girl" Bo Derek;

* Born again STEPHEN BALDWIN has put his 7 bedroom Nyack manse
on the market. Though he claims to still be fighting
the opening of a nearby porn palace, he is living his "cottage."

* Former NJ Governor JIM MCGREEVEY is dating someone named Mark O'Donnell.
By chance is that Rosie's brother?

While the Page Six scandal that I have been obsessed with seems
to be calming down a bit, the New York Times
has two articles about it today.

One by William K. Rashbaum
says that prosecuting Jared will be tough
since it will require action by US Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez.

Another by Campbell Robertson
details how Jared and Burkle got acquainted with each other during July 2005
when they were introduced to each other face to face by Paolo Zampolli, the president of ID Models.

It would appear that Jared is now giving the Times info about how the two
finaly came to meet to discuss extortion (Burkle's claim) or investing in
Skull & Crossbones (Stern's claim).

Until tomorrow.
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The Calm After the Stern Storm

Weisel Writer Jared Paul Stern
on his retro black phone
in the library of his Catskills home

Finally Jared is off the front page of the Daily News
which today focussed on the Casanova Cop
who constantly cheated on his wives
and was yesterday shot by his third wife
who just happens to be one of four cops
involved in a shoot yesterday.
With a little luck this mess will end and my life
can return to reporting on what's what with America's favorite
gossip column.

On Page Six, which is today covered by
Paula Froelich and Chris Wilson (who's been missing for days)
we learn that:

* JENNIFER ANISTON is looking for a Chicago home with Vince Vaughn;

* CHER who just finished her three year long farewell tour
is about to relauch herself in Vegas with another tour;

* JENNIFER LOPEZ is suing her first husband for being a blabber mouth.
Apparently he is trying to sell a tell-all book about her
despite their legal agreement not to talk about each other;

* Sin City director Robert Rodriguez is taking up with ROSE MCGOWAN.

I don't know there.
There are alot of other things reported there,
but I just don't care anymore.

I hope I can keep up, updating this blog
when in fact Page Six itself (though not the scandal) has begun
to bore me.

Until tomorrow.
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Dwarf Kiss-Tribute Bands

The Little People Who Help the Post Ignore the Big Story

It's hard to focus on what's actually on Page Six today.
My entire purpose for creating this blog about a month ago
was to detail what's what and who's who on Page Six,
the world's most fascinating column.
But almost instantly my interest in Page Six changed
from enjoying reading it
to being obsessed with reading about it.

Poor Paula Froelich.
Though I never gave her much thought before
I feel for that girl today.

Page Six Editor Richard Johnson and his bride Sessa von Richthofen

While Richard Johnson is away,
presumably celebrating his marriage to Sessa,
little nutty Paula is left (without Chris Wilson)
to hold down the fort
while the rest of the world skewers the Post and its

ethically-challenged freelancer Jared Paul Stern.

Still considering the circumstances
Paula did a decent job today.
This is what she came up with:

* The bizarre relationship between two Kiss tribute bands,
manned by drawfs: Tiny Kiss and Mini Kiss.

* A mystery beef between Naomi Campbell and Sean "P-Ditty" Combs.

* The sexcapades of Baraonda owner Enrico Proietti,
whom my friend, a certain lady Doctor,
used to do the horizontal mambo with
inside his restaurant.
(Truthfully, I think it was a verticle mambo.)

* Julie Roberts not getting the modeling gig with Dior.
That girl bores me.

* Jennifer Lopez will tour in Dubai.

* To avoid the media, Angelina Jolie may give birth
to Brad Pitts baby in Namibia.

By the way, there is not new info about this horrendous scandal.
What I find online is just a collection of rehashes
of what was said yesterday.

Though I do commend some of what the New York Times wrote yesterday
today they printed a stupd piece by Campbell Robertson
that talks about the relationships gossip columnists
enjoy with their spies and their subjects.
Dull dude.
Very dull.
And if you think that having relationships with sources
and players in the city is a problem,
that would explain how dreadfully boring your column
Public Lives is.

The Times really ought to get Marc Santora to write something.
His piece yesterday about how Jared recreated himself
in NYC is far more interesting than Robertson's yawner.