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Jared Saying He was Set Up

Apr. 9th, 2006 | 04:16 pm

Ron Burkle: The Man Who Knocked the Daper Dope to His Wimpy Knees

Get a load of this
ABC is reporting that scandalized
Entrepreneurial Reporter Jared Paul Stern
is now saying he was set up by
supermarket superman, Ron Burkle.
(Isn't that what Marion Barry said
when he was filmed hitting the pipe in DC?)

In an exclusive interview with Chris Cuomo,
(former Governor Mario Cuomo's son) that was just posted minutes ago,
Stern told ABC News, "I was the one who was targeted,'' claiming he was "set up'' by supermarket magnate Ron Burkle.

This is downright surreal.
I hope I remember to tune into
Good Morning American tomorrow
when Cuomo will report more on this story.

For now I have to go look up the Ottawa Citizen article
about JPS that ran a few years ago.
This should be interesting.

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Apr. 9th, 2006 | 09:17 am

The Daper Dolt Himself: Jared Paul Stern, all psuedo style, no substance

Every day that I wake up to find more on the internet
that's fascinating about Page Six rather than on Page Six,
the more I worry that this Jared Paul Stern scandal
is going to deal a major blow to my beloved New York Post.

If the powers that be over there can Richard Johnson,
I swear to God I will never read that paper again.
My loyalties are with the Page Six editor
who I am virtually positive had nothing at all to do
with this Jared mess.

I do not believe he was ever involved with Jared's shady activities
and I do not believe he created an environment where
a slimeball like Jared Paul Stern could fester in the ooze
of his own anemic ethics.

Here's a brief rundown of what people are saying about
the Page Six mess today:

has a piece written by Marc Santoro called
Reporter Was Quick Study in Art of Mingling With the Rich and Glamorous .

It details how Jared moved to NYC, slept on his uncle's sofa,
started wearing the Walter Winchell fedora he hoped would be his trademark,
got a job at the New York Press
and through his Bennington connections
got an assignment to cover the opening of the Bowery Ballroom
for Women's Wear Daily.
What makes this piece so interesting to me
is that the writer taps into something I have always suspected about Jared
even back when I knew him at Bennington.
Jared was part of the pack of ambitious fiction-writing students
I knew back in Vermont, who wanted the kind of success
enjoyed by Bennington grad Bret Easton Ellis,
the author of Less Than Zero.

Years later when Jared came to New York City
and crafted the personality of a modelizer,
I always knew in my bones that he was modeling
at least part of his life after the protagonist
of Jay McInenery's Bright Lights Big City.
A man about town, who dated models and who
was obsessed with the New York Post, that character
shared more than just a coincidental resemblence to
the New and Not So Improved version of Jared.

Elsewhere in the NYT is a piece that quotes
e-mails Jared sent to an associate of Burkle.
Titled 'I Think I Can Help Him Get the Situation Under Control'.
it includes horrifying emails Jared sent to Burke's people like
"I'm just saying things are heating up
and time is of the essence for several reasons...
before putting myself on the line I need a firm commitment...
if you want to get me a check or wire or something
to get the ball rolling that's fine
and we can sit down when you have time."
I'd be willing to bet the powers that be at the Post
would love to wring little Jared's neck
for being such a hustler and for being such an idiot.
Who on earth would be dumb enough to document in writing
their skeevy ethics?

on its cover offered excerpted portions of the taped conversation
between Jared Paul Stern and billionaire Ron Burkle, his intended shakedown victim.
If I were Richard Johnson I would contact a lawyer
to see if I could sue the living day lights out of Jared for this exchange:

STERN: "I can solve these issues for you, but it is, you know, it is,
you know there are going to be other things. We are going to have to find ways
to work with those guys outside of being friends."

BURKLE: "You gave me ideas yesterday.
You tell me I have to pay [Page Six editor] Richard Johnson $100,000
to be something somewhere ..."

STERN: "Yeah, a consultant say to, you know, your media companies, for instance."

BURKLE: "Well, like Current TV, I have Current TV."

STERN: "Yeah, okay. Yeah, that is something we should definitely do
and we should start to work on something sooner rather than later."

has a piece by Blake Fleetwood titled
Everyone Does It. That's Not News": Richard Johnson, Editor of Page Six.
It concludes that this whole mess is
"bringing up embarrassing questions about Richard Johnson
and the whole modus oporandi of Page Six."
Oy vey this is such a nightmare.
To prove his point Fleetwood recalls a conversation he had with Johnson
a few years ago when he told Richard about how real estate magnate
Lew Rudin controlled politicians and the press by offering key people
rent controlled apartments in Manhattan.
Allegedly Richard said he once had an apartment like this
that he got from Lew Rudin on the Upper West Side.
Good Lord this doesn't look good.

I could go on and on.
This story has legs as long as Claudia Schieffer's.
It is now being picked up in Canada, the UK, Australia
and the Persian Gulf.

has a piece by New York correspondent, David Nason
who says that "Stern, 35, a man whose name will almost certainly
be recorded alongside that of New York Times fraudster Jason Blair,
is unlikely to face trial"
because Burkle's tapes are inadmissible in court.
Apparently Burkle's security team wasn't careful to
avoid charges of entrapment.

This literally makes me sick.

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Jared Paul Stern: Mr. Scandal

Apr. 8th, 2006 | 08:10 pm

Page Six: The Talk of the Town

You know that I never update twice in one day
but this Page Six scandal is truly unbelievable.
The internet is now filled with stories
about the Jared Paul Stern horror story.

Here are just a few of the outlets
that are reporting on Entrepreneurial Reporter, Jared Paul Stern
and the nightmare he's created for the New York Post

The New York Times has a couple of stories
on its website right now,
including one by Campbell Robertson,
who posted it less than an hour ago.
Titled Hard, Shadowy Game of Gossip Rewards Ruthless and Unctuous
the article quotes a variety of gossips and in the middle concludes:
"So, hypothetically, when one reads that Jay-Z was seen sharing maki rolls
with Beyoncé at the hot new restaurant named, say, Sushi Larry's,
it is because the people who represent Sushi Larry's
have dished some good dirt."

That is blantantly not true and I suspect Robertson knows that
but maybe I am wrong.
I know for a fact that it is not that hard
to get a sighting like the one above in Page Six.
I know for a fact that it is not printed in exchange
for something else.

But I also found something rather interesting while
scouring the internet for more info about this scandal.
On DeadlineHollywoodDaily.com,
Nikki Finke talks about while some are focussing on the tangled relationship
between Richard Johnson and Miramax honcho Harvey Weinstein,
who is mentioned in today's column,
the real evidence of a tooclose relationship between Page Six
and powerful types like Weinstein,
is the fact that Page Sixer Paula Froelich's book was in fact published
by Weinstein.

In and of itself that doesn't sound like a scandal to me
but combined with this Jared fiasco,
I don't think it's a great thing.

And for whatever reason that breaks my heart.
I have zero personal stake in this.
Yes, I knew Jared when I went to school at Bennington
in the early 90s, but he was hardly a friend.
I do not personally know Richard Johnson.
I do not work at the Post.
I am just a devoted reader
who is horrified that a pip-squeek wannabe
hipster is causing so many problems
for the newspaper and column that I love.

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Ignoring the Scandal of Jared Paul Stern

Apr. 8th, 2006 | 08:33 am

The Cover of Yesterday's New York Daily News

While I suspect that Richard Johnson
is now boarding some sort of a boat
off Palm Beach and just about to marry
his long time girlfriend/fiance Sessa,
he did manage to crank out another column
that completely ignores the messy scandal
of its freelance entrepreneurial reporter
Jared Paul Stern.

This story is everywhere:
the New York Times, the Sun,
the Los Angeles Times, the SF Chronical,
the National Review and every local NYC
TV station.
What a mess!
I feel so badlly for all the lovely people
who work at the Post and day after day
crank out one brilliant edition after another.

Entrepreneurial Reporter, Jared Paul Stern

I am horrified and the more I think about it
the more I think that Jared has done this before.
He's just too slimy for words.
So I will try to ignore his shady nature
and instead I will mention that
in today's column, Page Six talked about:

* a newly warm and fuzzy Harvey Weinstein
recalling how he almost lost an eye as a child
and how the incident inspired his love of books;

* a 16 year old Miami girl has been discovered at the mall
and is now the subject of Bruce Weber's new A&F ads;

* how Tina Brown hired Gay Talese to write about penis-personalities
John and Lorena Bobbit when she was the editor of the New Yorker
and then canned the story after Talese did exhaustive research on
about the psychological nuances of Lorena successfully cutting off
John's penis;

* how Fashionista-favorite Zac Posen bored a crowd to tears in Miami
when he screened Academy Award winning "Auntie Mame"
at the "Grand Classics" Canyon Ranch Living Miami Beach last week;

* how Paris Hiltons keister is flabby. Apparently she's thin but not toned.

* how crack royalty, Pete Doherty, the lead singer of Britain's babyshambles
is bragging that he will marry Kate Moss this fall.
Apparently Kate will not marry him but is just afraid that if she cuts him off
Doherty will reveal embarassing details about their drug benders; and finally

* how the Jackass crew were flown into Vegas by Amanda Demme
who is opening up a new club called Pure and Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O and
dwarf Wee Man proceeded to get hammered and then thrown out of the club
when Wee Man pulled down his pants and peed on the floor.
Initially I assumed that Wee meant small, but now I think it must refer to
taking a wee-wee whenever he pleases.

I just wish this Jared Paul Stern scandal had happened to another paper.
If it had, Page Six would be chock full of juicy stuff about the details,
but once again the Daily News has dropped the ball. Though their story
in yesterday's paper was comprehensive, today you can find far better stuff
by reading the New York Times and the LA Times. No wonder they call it the Snooze.

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Scandal: Jared Paul Stern Allegedly on the Take

Apr. 7th, 2006 | 09:21 am

Pretty in Pink: Scandal-Monger Jared Paul Stern

So I woke up at the crack
read my favorite column
and geared myself up to
write about the game of musical chairs
that has begun with a Katie-less Today Show
and a Meredith-free The View.

But then for some odd reason
I booted up my computer
and decided to read the Daily News's
Rush & Molloy before I began to pluck away
at the keyboard.

I am sure you can imagine my suprise
when I saw Page Six's Jared Paul Stern
on the homepage of the Daily News.

Holy Shakedown!!!

It would appear that JPS is selling fluff pieces
in the sacred pages of the New York Post.
It's enough to nauseate me.

But I cannot say I am entirely suprised.

I went to Bennington with Jared.
Back then he wasn't Jared Paul Stern.
He was just Jared, a nerdy prep-wannabe
who spent his days strolling the Vermont campus
of that tiny school with his friend Dan,
an architecture student.
And judging by the contents of his bookshelf,
Jared spent his nights reading the preppy handbook
and all the spin-offs of that 1980s
guide to the clothing, vocabulary and interests
of the priviledged set.
Even then I wondered if he owned this book as a goof
or if it were his bible, guiding this odd young man
through the pink and green color combinations
and whale embroidered trousers that were his uniform.

The year after I graduated from Bennington,
someone I knew who was still on campus told me that
Jared was no longer a prep and had instead adopted
a GQ-Euro look complete with hipster clothing.

Years later when we were both in NYC
I ran into Jared at a party for the opening
of Citarella the restaurant.
Initially I didnt' realize it was Jared at all.
Instead my eyes fixed on an overdressed man
wearing a bespoke suit and a hat that I think is
called a fedora.
I said hi to Jared, assuming he would recognize me
(I was after all friends with this girl
who Jared had a crush on while we were all at Bennington)
but JPS simply starred right through me as he said
'how do you do?'

I say I am not surprised to learn that Jared Paul Stern
is under an FBI investigation because he always struck me
as a phony and I always thought he had bad judgement.
That girl he had a crush on was my friend,
a noted lesbian on campus who bore an uncanny resemblance
to Jodie Foster.
I won't use her name because I still know this girl
and like her very much.

But anyone with two eyes could have seen she was a lesbian
and any outsider viewer would have seen Jared as a boy
who was barking up the wrong tree.

Having babbled away endlessly this morning about Jared,
I will spare you my rundown on today's column.

But I will say Congratulations to Richard and and his fiance Sessa
who I think may be getting married tomorrow "overseas."
These are two of the sweetest people on earth and I wish them
all the love in the world.

Until tomorrow...

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Katie Holmes

Apr. 6th, 2006 | 08:15 am

I always love it when Richard Johnson
writes about Scientology,
but I was particulary thrilled that today
Page 6 took on Stepford wife Katie Holmes.

Citing a Parade magazine interview with TomKat
my favorite column detailed reporter Dotson Rader's impression
that while wearing a huge honking engagement ring,
Katie smiled incessantly but looked vacant
while Tom carried on like a teenager
touching and kissing her.

Don't get me wrong.
This is not schadenfreude.
I have absolutely nothing against Katie
(or Tom for that matter)
but I smell the famous
glazed over scientology look
that so many have talked about.

And very very profoundly
I feel sorry for Katie's parents,
two devout Catholics who live in Ohio,
who must be terrified about
what little Katie has gotten herself into.

On a weird level I think it must be like
what Elizabeth Smart's parents
would have thought had their daughter
become world famous after her kidnapping
rather than returned safely to her home
to be deprogrammed.

Nuff said

The other things that interested me today include that

* Martha Stewart was in Table XII
(one of the oddest restaurants on the planet)
let alone toasting Charles Koppleman; and that

* Sharon Stone made Page 6 what is it now?
Two days in a row?
I find it heart warming that despite that horror
of an opening for Basic Instinct 2,
Stone is living large. (A girl after my own heart).

Until tomorrow

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Casey Johnson and Ron Perelman

Apr. 5th, 2006 | 08:37 am

Two dramas matter today:

America's craziest neice is at it again.
Seems Casey Johnson is calling her aunt Libet
at all ours of the night.
Our favorite column writes that her sweet as pie
aunt Libet is considering placing a restraining order
against Casey.

2. Perelman's Next Wife
(wouldn't that make a delicious reality show?)
just may be Anna Chapman, a 30 something
Harvard grad MD who wants kids.

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Kimberly Stewart's Smelly Feet

Apr. 4th, 2006 | 08:53 am

Can you imagine:

* having your parents Rod and Alana Stewart call Richard Johnson
to tell him your feet don't smell? Kimberly Stewart can.

* sitting in first class while your nine month old son,
Laird sat in coach wailing? Sharon Stone can.

* there is no first amendment in France?
Kevin Beggs the head of Lions Gate TV can.
He went to France to promote the new Mary Louise Parker film Weed
and got all his marijuana hats and T-shirts confiscatd by
French customers officials.

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Apr. 3rd, 2006 | 04:10 pm

Let me make my case:

* a NY Senator and his Hoboken love nest
with his former aide;

* KID ROCK claims to put ambien in his cereal;

* JENNA BUSH sicced her daddy dubya on a boyfriend
who worked as a Bush aide;

* The '21' Club grosses $18.8 million a year;

* SHARON STONE wants to be a songwriter.

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Boring Me To Tears

Apr. 2nd, 2006 | 12:07 pm

I love Page Six as much as
the next gal, but today's column
is a yawner.

I do not care in the slightest about

* Miami's Winter Music Conference;

* Denise's Rich's ex-music partner
having trouble with Natalie Cole's album;

* The idiot who gave his AmEx card
to kooks who ran the club Exit
and a $500,000 debt on the card;

* Anna Wintour putting the hex
on the filming of the Devil Wears Prada;

* Who is trying to shoot Poison's Bret Michaels;

The only things have any real value are the photos.

One is of Bruce Springsteeen,
his Jersey Girl wife
their three kids and a neice.
They are a very sweet-looking.

Another is of a rather chunky-looking
Britney Spears sipping on a monster Starbucks
with the rumpus of an NFL running back;

Finally there is a shot of Kate Hudson
and her rocker husband Chris Robinson
strolling around the Meatpacking District
with their long-haired kid sucking on a pacifier; and

Hearing that Prince's new album is doing well.
I love the Fuschia Favoring Funkster.

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